I can recall being a young, ambitious and eager teenager.
My mind felt like it was running three times faster than my body could keep up. I wasn’t the type to sit still; I was always looking for something to do—a club to join, a committee to volunteer for, or a cause to champion.
At the tender age of 14, I decided it was time to get my first job.
I didn’t just want to work—I needed to work. Determined not to come home empty-handed, I hopped on the Durham city bus and rode downtown. My mission? Find a job before the day was over.
I walked the streets, scanning for “hiring now” signs or places that felt welcoming enough to step inside and ask. After several stops and a few moments of hesitation, I came across a building with a sign that read, “Administrative Offices.”
In my young, optimistic mind, this was it—a clear sign (literally) that I was destined to work as an administrator. So, I mustered up all my courage, walked in, and found two young men in their 20s sitting at a round table surrounded by what looked like a million scattered papers.
Immediately, I second-guessed myself. Was I in the right place? Should I turn around? But something inside me said, just go for it.
So, I did. I cleared my throat and said, “Hi, my name is Sonja Southerland, and I’m looking for a summer job. Are you hiring?”
The rest, as they say, is history—they hired me on the spot.
Yes, really!
Triangle Housing Homeless, a non-profit dedicated to renovating dilapidated homes and providing them to underemployed and homeless individuals, became my very first job.
Looking back, this was more than just a summer gig—it was my first professional lesson in the power of giving back.
The organization was led by two selfless African American men who poured their personal resources into transforming lives and neighborhoods. They didn’t have to. They could have spent their time and money on countless other things, but they chose to make a difference.
Now, at 49, I reflect on this moment and see how it taught me one of my earliest lessons in harmony. These men integrated their passions, purpose, and resources to create something meaningful, proving that harmony isn’t just a concept—it’s a way of life.
From Balance to Harmony: A Transformational Shift
The idea of shifting from the work-life balance to work-life harmony is a transformational life philosophy. Harmony asks us to pause and confront what truly matters. It challenges us to align our actions, routines, and decisions with our values in an intentional way.
Let’s break it down:
Balance, at its core, is about separation—two things held in equal measure.
Harmony, however, is about integration—the joining of elements to create something seamless and cohesive.
The transition from balance to harmony is about moving beyond dividing your life into compartments and instead creating a life that feels meaningful, impactful, and sustainable.
Reflecting on my first job at Triangle Housing Homeless, I see this lesson clearly.
These two men took what they had—resources others might have dismissed as inadequate—and turned it into something beautiful. What some viewed as trash, they nurtured into treasure.
Through their work, they didn’t just rebuild homes; they restored communities. These once-condemned houses became spaces where families could live with dignity and pride. Their efforts inspired the city to reinvest in these neighborhoods, adding infrastructure and opportunities that made them thrive.
This is what harmony looks like in action: taking the scattered pieces of life and weaving them together into something extraordinary.
Harmony allows us to integrate all of life’s aspects instead of compartmentalizing them.
After that summer job, I returned to school, still hungry and eager for what was next. But life had other plans. Just two years later, I found myself a teen mom, balancing school, working two jobs, and trying to make sense of everything that had unfolded. I was determined to succeed, even in the face of overwhelming challenges.
Looking back now, with the perspective that comes from time and growth, I see that what I truly needed wasn’t balance—it was integration. The world around me kept pushing the idea of compartmentalization: keep work here, family there, and personal growth somewhere else. But that constant separation left me feeling stretched thin and incomplete.
What I’ve since learned is that the greatest value comes from living authentically and embracing harmony. Harmony allows you to give attention to all the parts of who you are—your passions, responsibilities, and aspirations—without having to sacrifice one for the other. It’s about creating a life where all those pieces work together, not compete against one another.
Harmony isn’t a destination; it’s a practice—a commitment to living fully and authentically.
If you’re tired of constantly choosing one part of your life over another, maybe it’s time to rethink the idea of balance
Ask yourself: What would harmony look like in my life? It might just be the transformational shift you’ve been searching for.
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Sonja Southerland
Innovate Human Capital Solutions
@innovatehcsolutions
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